Okay so, probably a half million or so of you have already received this email in some form or another, but being that my computer froze up on me just this morning and I had to reboot and all....I just thought, ah - how appropriate.
And yes, I used to own a Mac and loved it soo much better than this monstrosity - but
eventually had to cave in and buy into the Bill Gates evil empire if I wanted to be able to communicate (and I use that word loosely) in the cyberworld. I don't know if this ever was actually a GM press release, but if it wasn't, well damn, it should have been.
"At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like! Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever,your car would lock you out and refuseto let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off."
(and thank you technell, for sending me this..)
12 comments:
wanna know what the killer is with Computers and technology? Sure, the technology gets bigger and better, but the prices never come down. Not everyone can afford a $1300 computer, yet the ones below that price are usually accidents waiting to happen. I figured I've oned a myriad of computers in the past decade and each one is more expensive than the one before it. Why??? It's time to settle down with the bells and whistles that are practically required on a system and start really offering useful machines for $500 or less.
Oh, and to get a real laugh... dig out a TV show that you recorded more than 5 years ago. I happened to find a copy of Stephen King's IT on a VHS tape from 1996 - they were so happy that computers could "answer the phone for you." Remember that? Answering machines in your computer. Wow. And they were bragging about the 8 meg of ram! LOL! And even back then, they clamed the 120 megabyte processor speed as "blazing fast."
ROFL!!!!! tehehehe... good one! And so true! I'm sick of crashes, dernit!!!!!
{i would laff but i've seen this many the times}
Less=the=Never, my car is Exactly like all that!
Gotta love the green=ghost 'tho.
Too funny! LMAO
This is going way back ... but Bank of America was one of the first banks that computerized their accounts.... Those computers took up gigantic rooms with fake floors (to run all the cables) and had to had special air conditioners to keep the systems cool...... Now ... palm pilots fit in your pocket.....
Haven't seen this. Very funny!
I like number 3 the best. Isn't it amazing what we "simply accept" in the cyber world?
This was funny! I have to agree with Kat ... about #3 simply accepting. WHY do we? Glad cars aren't running like the computers, WHEW!
Smilin Mon
And number eleven would be: You are sailing down the highway, your heart is a flutter and suddenly a billboard, totally obscuring your view, pops up advertising a desire to decrease your mortgage rate and increase your penis size.
I had no idea General Motors had a sense of humor. It does seem more than a bit trite, however, since their cars wouldn't be driving anywhere without those onboard computers. ¤Holly
I've seen this before and thought it's hilarious. I wonder if Bill Gates returned the GM salvo with another quip.
Having never had Microsoft, I just thought that this is the way things are in computer land. And I always thought it was me. Of course I always thought it was me when word processors and fax machines didn't work . Ditto for the tele-fax, mimeograph and the Smith-Corona. Growing old with technology.
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