Like a nervous mother, I wait.
I wait to see if our 6 month old, 6 pound - stray kitten-squirrel, the nuclear kitty with the extra toes, (and probably extra ovaries), the one, the only Miss Lucy-fer survives today's ordeal. For yes, at this very moment - she is getting de-clawed and de-balled (but in an ovary kinda way).
Now, I know I will probably get a lot of hate mail on this one - but so be it. It is my furniture and my sanity at stake, okay - not yours. The way I look at it - she is damn lucky to even have a home. And for the record, I'm not even a cat person so, (in my best Mr. Evil's voice)... "Cut me a friggin break here, Scotty!"
Miss Lucy, like her promiscuous and randy mother before her, (who is pregnant again for the third time this year), has come into heat months ahead of schedule and without fair warning. Now, to add insult to injury - Miss Lucy's wiley ways have even managed to excite our neutered 16 lb. tomcat - I think in some smaller evil cat circles - he would be known as a "Teaser Tom" - ya know, a cat that gets his non-rocks off just to help a sexually frustrated female cat ovulate...don't believe me? Well, check here. And believe me when I tell you - He's not just doing her a favor - he LIKES it.
So what we have then, is an incestuous and sordid love affair going on between old Kitty and baby Lucy. And now, because the light bulb finally went off in Mr. Eunuch 's head - he won't leave her alone even when she does not want his lascivious attempts at romance!
So to recap class, what do we have here?- Yes, that's right, what we have here is one old fat neutered male cat, Mr. Kitty, constantly trying to poke the baby evil kitten-squirrel cat, Miss Lucy. And remember - when she does, in fact, want some action - she does everything to get his or anybody elses attention, regardless of the species or what gene pool it comes from. It's no longer cute, okay? It's just plain creepy. Ask the kids.
And I'm not even going to bother going into what those grappling hooks -she calls paws - does to one's furniture, sliding screen doors, or flesh on one's back - Just trust me on this one. She'll be under general anesthesia anyway so.....
So, off we went this morning in our little beige carry crate - to Mr. Vet's office. Where she managed to fillet the flesh on my back - once again - just for ol time's sake - just for being weighed and registered....
but still, like a nervous mother, I wait.
(along with all her new treats and toys...)
(for all you cat people out there - i've included some extra fun in the blue links.)
8 comments:
I have never heard of a "teaser tom" before. I really wonder what the people at that site have been drinking.
As for declawing. Well I hadn't my Dallas declawed years ago. I have regetted it ever since. She still tries to scratch her nails (that aren't there) on stuff so I got her a little scratching post that she seems to love. I worry about her getting out of the house some how without any type of protection (well she still has teeth but that isn't the same.) I won't yell and scream at people that declaw their cats. I just know that I would never do it again.
good, and now see, i won't yell and scream at cats that de-upholster my furniture - or de-flesh my bones...
ahhh! Poor Lucy! Give her my love.....
are 2 a cat person. (neener neener!)
aww... you are a good mommy.
we have one declawed kitty (named Shadow after Mae's shadow-mending stint) who adopted our upstairs. She is 5 and declawed on all four paws. Sweetest little thang in the world, but skittish (hence, afraid of her own Shadow...) She is a squeak toy who does not meow, but squeaks like an infant's first stuffed animal.
We gave up on furniture ages ago.
We put family and friends up in motels if they're allergic or want anywhere to sit that doesn't have cat hair, puke, or territorial markings upon it.
such is the OTHER non-fairytale life I lead. I now I will follow all your blue leads.
catperson went to every fun-filled destination...and stole picture #8. You should submit that somewhere. it will appear in one of my many blogs. count on it.
Please to let us know how Miss Lucy be feelin' once she is t' home. (that's how we talk out here.) are you shredding newspapers for the litter box?
Gosh, what a little seductress that Miss Lucy is; even Teaser Toms can't resist!
Did you know that in Japan the latest craze is to have their kitties wear multicolored soft caps on their claws? Check it out:
http://journals.aol.com/aiibrat/Random/entries/242
Flora, Pics are great. Good luck to Lucy!
Vince
wow wow wow thats alot of links when i get a computer at my own apt soon im a read em all sometime whhooo weeee u got alot of stuff in your journal im jealious of your ability to not be lazy lol well u dont seem like a person who gets lazy? do u get lazy floralilia <--------- get a shorter name lol u gotta think to type that one :P
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