#307...some kinda chinese water torture thingie...

This little game came from 2 Scoops of Crazy, thank you very much!

1) Go into your AOL-J archives.
2) Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3) Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4) Post the text of the sentence in your AOL-J along with these instructions

okay, so drat - post #23..was a pic..

and post #22 was.."do you think these heels are too much with my nightie?"

hmmm...

so I went to #24 and found this: "Hmmm..kinda looks like the morning after a good keg party."

you wanna read the rest now, doncha....well, go right ahead my little pretties, go right ahead...

 
aah, the good ol' days...

#306...the scalzihead challenge #3

It's that time again, time for the Scalzihead Weekend Assignment #3:

Recount the worst piece of advice you've ever been given, or the worst piece of advice you've ever provided. (For extra credit, do both).  

 Worst most traumatic advice I've been given -  From a friend, when I was 16, that a perm would give my hair "body".  It didn't.  It just made it into one huge unruly frizzy mop.   

Do not, I repeat, do not get a home perm, hell, any perm, if your hair is very thick to begin with.  

Worst, most traumatic advice I've ever given?  to my 4 yr old daughter - sitting unsure of herself at the top of a pool slide...
 
"Go ahead, go down the slide Dane - you'll love it...."
 
"No, Mom, I'm scared."
 
"Oh don't be silly - you just love it- it will be so fun."

"No mommy, I really don't want to.."
 
"Oh go ahead, trust me - you'll love it - Daddy will catch you in the water."
 
"No mom, I'll get hurt."
 
"Tsk..oh no you won't - you'll love it - it's fun!"
 
She shakes her head no...
 
I smile, and shake mine yes...
 
She goes...
 
She slips, she slides,  we clap and yell -  

She rounds the curve and loses control,  turns on her side, feet up...
    
THUNK!...
 
She falls into the water - her dad grabs her and brings her up -
 
and - she's a bloody mess..
 
Sigh...she hit her eyebrow against the side of the slide, and needed four stitches...

I still remember holding her head still, as the doc sewed her up.  

"Mommy,  I told you I shouldn't have gone."   

"Yep, Mommy bad."  I said, nodding yes.

#305....control, alt...delete....a-gain.

Okay so, probably a half million or so of you have already received this email in some form or another, but being that my computer froze up on me just this morning and I had to reboot and all....I just thought, ah - how appropriate. 

And yes, I used to own a Mac and loved it soo much better than this monstrosity - but
eventually had to cave in and buy into the Bill Gates evil empire if I wanted to be able to communicate (and I use that word loosely) in the cyberworld. I don't know if this ever was actually a GM press release, but if it wasn't, well damn, it should have been.

"At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like! Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever,your car would lock you out and refuseto let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off."

(and thank you technell, for sending me this..)

#304...suck it up ladies.

There has been a lot of discussion going on lately in j- land about the war, and our men and women fighting and dying over there. Hopefully, by now too, you've read the letters I posted recently here from Matt- a young soldier who gives us a real look at what's going on right  now, over there...

Jamey's wrote about Lt. Childers - our first casualty of the war in Iraq... Armandt gives a soldiers view and Remo posted some excellent insight too - the men, it seems - get it.

But what of we women?

I am a little confused, no alot confused actually, as to the women's thoughts and responses recently ...the great majority, it seems are hesitant to commit or outright support this war on terrorism.  Look, no one says we have to like it... I sure as hell don't. But sometimes, hard decisions, hard sacrifices are necessary.  Not every problem can be solved quietly, over a nice luncheon and a cup of tea.  Is it because we're female - we should always take the back seat to any of these matters?  Always play the delicate, weeping, prayer circling, frightened half... 

 Let's not forget, shall we -

Passenger jets were used as guided missiles -  and no warning.  

Body bombs were planted on passenger trains - and no warning.

Car bombs go off at check points - the list goes on and on...

Do not let, Lt. Childers death, or any other service people's death or any civilian's death - be in vain.

Terrorists do not want peace. They do not want to negotiate.  They play dirty - and they like it that way.

It's real simple -  Their only message is to hate - they live it, breath it, drink it and eat it. They indoctrinate their young, their old, and their women and babies to it.  They are not going to go away just because we wish it, or are uncomfortable with it, or are inconvenienced by it.

Remember, 9-11?  Do you?   They stood on our doorstep and instead of ringing our doorbell - they just blew the GD door in.  no notice - no warning...

You know, a little over a month later - I visited Ground Zero. First hand, I smelled the jet fuel and the smoke. I saw the black soot that covered entire skyscrapers, and the twisted steel, and the tears of family members who lost their loved ones there. Hell, I tasted the terror dust in my mouth.  I saw the big gaping hole in the ground and the bigger gaping hole in the skyline. I saw the mountain of twisted metal and cement. I saw the men and women and machines still working, more than two months later, in the recovery efforts.

I heard for myself, the huge silence that the terrorists left for all of us to hear.

I remember standing on top of those towers with my innocent children on class trips, for crissakes.  I remember looking over the edge to all the people-ants below, at the masses of innocent people who calmly went to work there, of the crowds of innocent schoolchildren who visited there almost daily.   

If those memories of planes flying into towers, and buildings crumbling, and people falling, and screaming, and jumping -  didn't wake you up, then what, will?

Perhaps when it's your child's daycare, or your children's school, or your church, or your place of employment?  Maybe when it's your very own home?  

I ask you, how much more would it take to get you committed to securing not only your safety, but your neighbor's, as well?  When will you say, enough is enough?

How dare we sit and cry foul or wring our hands, or worse, refuse to even discuss it. Our men need our support ladies, regardless of our emotional cost. They also need our appreciation and our love - now- not tomorrow or the next day.

Some of the strongest people I know are women - Sure this is hard, it's tragic, and it's ugly.  But sometimes hard, tragic and ugly things are necessary. Suck it up ladies, I say.  If they can bear it, so can we.

 

#303...for you, fellow journalers.

Friendship is a long conversation.

I suppose I could imagine a nonverbal
friendship revolving around
shared physical work or sport
but for me, good talk is the
point of the thing.

~phillip lapote

#302...for you, daughter.

hmmm....jargon scott and his legless dogs.------>click here.

 

#301...the 2nd scalzihead weekend challenge

The Scalzihead Weekend Assignment #2: Describe your second-favorite of the following: movie, book, album, school teacher, ice cream flavor, sports team, comfort food, celebrity crush, cartoon character and way to relax. If you feel like it, add in any other second favorite you like.

2nd favorite movie:  Gladiator.  "Are you not amused?"

2nd favorite Robert A. Heinlein book:  Stranger in a Strange Land.  Jubal Harshaw and Valentine Michael Smith...What's not to grok?

2nd favorite album: Anything by Enigma - because it takes first and second place.

2nd hated school teacher:  Sister Mary Joseph Benedict.  Because she scared the hell out of me in 1st grade.  I'm glad my grape soda blew up all over her white summer habit. 

2nd favorite Ice cream flavor: Mint chocolate Chip.  Cause it's sassy.

2nd favorite sports team:  The Ice Capades.  Not only men in tights, but men in neon tights.  That takes balls - (whoop whoop...danger! danger!  will robinson! thinly veiled vulgarity!!)   oops. I mean, that takes gonads. 

2nd favorite comfort food:  Extra- Dry Martini with only ...sigh..one olive. 

2nd favorite celebrity crush:   Precious Roy.  (What do you mean, "Who's that?")  serious arse parrot problems? click here.

2nd favorite cartoon character:  Hobbes (as if you can have one without the other...)

2nd favorite way to relax: nude, without the extra olive and male studs fanning me.

 

 

#300. Mystery solved. The official Guidelines no one knew existed.

Okay, so I did a little sleuthing...(thank you Nancy Drew)...and guess what I found
hidden in the Help menu of the Hometown page.

Yes, I'm good, but I'm better when I'm bad.  I ain't the queen for nothing.  I keep telling you people this.

So now, you can say you saw it here first, and not from the Editor's whose job it should have been.  But hey, that's what they're getting paid the big money for, and I'm not.

  Hmm...now lets all do a little reading, shall we? 

AOL Journal Guidelines:Please remember you must be at least 13 years of age to create an AOL Journal.

You agree that you will not use AOL Journals to distribute or facilitate distribution of any content -- including text, communications, software, images, sounds, data, or other information -- that:

contains images of sexual acts or sexual language of a violent or threatening nature, directed at another individual or group of individuals or as a method of harassment.

contains personal information not your own and/or posted without permission within the text of an AOL Journal or AOL Journal entry. This includes e-mails addresses, IM conversations, e-mails, or otherwise, regardless of whether they occurred between the member and Journal owner or not.

is intended to victimize, harass, degrade or intimidate an individual or group of individuals on the basis of age, disability, ethnicity, gender, race, religion or sexual orientation. Hate speech is unacceptable anywhere on the service.

solicits personal information from a minor (under 18 years old). Personal information includes full name, home address, home telephone number, or other identifying "offline" information.

contains software viruses or any other computer code, files or programs designed to interrupt, destroy or limit the functionality of any computer software or hardware or telecommunications equipment.

contains material that defames, abuses, or threatens other individuals.

is illegal or incites illegal activity, such as instructional information on how to build a bomb, make counterfeit money, etc.

solicits for exchange, sale or purchase of sexually explicit images, and/or material harmful to minors; including, but not limited to, any photograph, film, video, or picture or computer generated image or picture (actual or simulated).

infringes anyone else's intellectual property rights, including, but not limited to, any copyright, trademark, trade secret, rights of publicity, rights of privacy, or other proprietary rights.

attempts to harvest or collect member information, including screen names.

impersonates or represents any person or entity in an attempt to deceive, harass or otherwise mislead another member. You may not pretend to be an employee or representative of AOL, or any of America Online, Inc. family of companies, or affiliates.

attempts to get a password, or other private information from a user. Remember: AOL employees will NEVER ask for your password.

advertises and/or promotes the sale of products or services on AOL, including, without limitation: lotteries, ammunition, firearms, fireworks and other explosive materials, tobacco, alcohol, adult products and services, such as phone sex and escort services, illegal products and services, and other products and services AOL deems inappropriate.

links to and/or references content not allowed under these guidelines. In addition, AOL reserves the right to prohibit members from linking to or promoting links to any commercial site beyond AOL Journals.

spams, including spamming of search engines or through use of search engine criteria.

facilitates distribution of unsolicited bulk e-mail, advertising or any other unauthorized solicitation including chain letters, multi-level marketing schemes and pyramid schemes.

solicits for advertisers or sponsors and/or contains sponsorships, ads, and banners unrelated to AOL Journals.

offers or solicits for payment information online (home pages or otherwise), including credit card or bank information, in return for the purchase of a product or service.

obscures or eliminates the AOL Journal frameset.

utilizes member web space as a storage for remote loading of graphics or other content; including utilizing member web space solely as a "signpost" or "billboard" linking to an outside ISP or web page.

Note: AOL does not endorse content found in AOL Journals.

AOL Journals are a place for members to share their everyday experiences, thoughts, and feelings. Journaling can also be a creative outlet showcasing a member?s talent for parody and humor, therefore, some Journals may be more graphic than others and may not suit all sensibilities. While using first names of other individuals in Journal entries is acceptable, the use of first and last names or first names in conjunction with a screen name or other identifiable characteristic(s) MAY be deemed harassment or found to be otherwise objectionable under AOL Journal guidelines.

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AOL reserves the right to make changes to these guidelines at anytime and you agree to be bound by any such changes. Please check these guidelines periodically for any changes.

For additional information on AOL's policy, please refer to the Terms of Service Agreement.(AOL members only)

Determination of whether there has been a violation of TOS and/or these guidelines, and whether any action is warranted, is made by AOL at its sole discretion.

#299..it just keeps getting curiouser and curiouser...

Hmmm....Curiously, second marrages=the new rules...the number 4 spot this week, has now deleted all of the comments from his/her/it's journal...along with the line - "why is everyone here so cranky" from the body of the latest entry.  I wonder why.

~Yes, indeedy, it just keeps getting curiouser and curiouser...

#298...observation No. 2

hmmm...how people stand and what they are willing to risk on small and trivial issues gives one big clues as to just what kind of balls or lack thereof, they have on larger issues.

The queen wonders aloud, are those people so insecure?  Well...apparently.

 

#297...observation No. 1

Hmm.  Four of the five picks this week didn't post a follow up like - "Wow! thank you for choosing me!" kinda entry... 

              The queen of flippant floralilian flimflammery is royally confused. 

~Bunch of ungrateful bloggers if you ask me.  Now see, I think that is pretty offensive.

 

#296...a couple of letters from the field...

Like so many others, my daughter's friend and co-worker, Matt, had enlisted in the Reserves some time ago, mostly to gain access to a good college education.  When he enlisted, we enjoyed peaceful times, and the prospect of actually being called up for service was fairly slim.  But, as time wore on, situations changed and his number was in fact called.  He is now serving in Iraq. 

Today, my daughter got this - actually two, letters from him.  We felt it was important to share them with you.  Sometimes it is easy to get lost in the day to day routines, and lose site of the real heros.  Please keep Matt and all the other men and women serving in your prayers. 

Dear Dana, 
     Today I found Paul H's. twin.  He is a Romanian soldier.  I know the thought of anyone like Paul in the military is scary, but Bill managed it for 14 years.  Just look at him, it's possible.
     So, Iraq could be so much more than it is.  Some areas are beautiful, it is spring here.  Flowers are blooming, and the sunrise over the desert is amazing.  Sunrise to sunset, amazing.  There are rivers and streams everywhere.  Dense forest of palm trees with dense vegetation covering the ground beneath.  It is nothing like the empty plains of Kuwait, or Saudi Arabia, you see on TV.
     Sure, there are bullets flying, people dying, bombs, fire fights, explosions, illumination flares, and so many other reminders of the war that you cannot forget about it.  But, it is so much more, here, that you see on TV.  Anyone who questions us being in Iraq, has never been to Iraq.  On one side of a wall you have paradise, the other is total and utter chaos.  The only thing that can help these people is our intervention.  You can see the positive effect we have on the people near our camps.  They have money, clean clothes, food, education, even freedom.  Those who live outside our reach are in proverty, living in human waste, drinking sewage, malnourished and not exposed to the thought of the outside world.  Their spiritual leaders want to control them by limiting what they see and hear.  Most of these people are like us. 
     There are, of course, those who hate us and all of our influences.  Two weeks ago I experienced my first firefight.  Twenty minutes later and we would have been right in the middle of it.  
          I want to thank you for the rosary again. It never leaves my side pocket when in the field.  So far it has kept me safe, and I am perhaps in the most vunerable position in the team as a tail gunner.  You have helped keep me safe so far.  For that, I thank you and I am indebted to you for it.  However, the bag has not faired well, and I have it covered in duct tape.  It was all I had, I am sorry for ruining it.
     I hope everything is going well for you.  I certainly hope you know how great home is.  Do not ever come into a job like this, you are far too sweet a person for this job.  How is college coming, and the job?  Do you ever get to see anyone at APS?  I so hate that place.  This is so much more rewarding work.  I hope your job is better. 
     Well, that is all for now.  Thank you again, you've helped give my team and myself strength.  May the sun always shine upon your face, and the wind be at your back.

                                                               Truly yours,

                                                                    Matt

#295...the second letter.

10 Apr 04

Dana,

     Since I have yet to send the first letter, I'll write you a second.  Bulk mailing 101.  I am at KCIA (Kuwait city international airport) waiting on one of my bosses, hopefully I'll get to meet one of our officials at some point.  Maybe Sec. Rumsfeld or Sec. Powell.  That would make for a nice story someday, when I have grandkids or nieces or nephews.
     So, I have been here for two months and one day, been to Iraq and back, and all I can do is think of home, and what I am missing.  I miss being able to see so many things and talk to my friends, go to ball games, listen to the radio  I wish I could have brought my dog with me.  But at the same time, I would not trade the experience for the world.  I've seen and experienced so many different cultures and been a part of something more rewarding than anything I've ever done before.
     I'm sure you've seen the news about the situation over here.  We've been experiencing some issues of late.  Our 36 Nation coalition is getting hammered up north.  I will be up in the thick of things again soon, and await it with a nervous anxiety.  It will be nice to get back to Iraq where we can make a real difference, but things are really touchy at present.  That's how it goes.  Not much more I can do about it but keep my eyes open and cover my corner.
     All in all, we have a very good team.  Our leader is awe inspiring and I would follow him into the depths of hell if he asked.  He is a good soldier and a good man.  In a very short time he has made a very positive difference in the Coalition and all of our lives.  He is a real leader, and he cares for his troops; much stronger than Bill ever was.  (Bill was an old boss in civilian life)  Bill made me buck the sytem, Col R. asks me to work the system, and I love doing it.
     I wish I could really share with you what it is like over here, but I cannot describe it.  Some thingsI cannot put into words, others I cannot put into words.  Maybe once this is all over I can tell you some things I've been a part of.  Funny how it all works out.
     One last thought for today, I wish I was home to stop in and say hello.  Things get so ugly over here it would be nice to see your beautiful smiling face.  I would certainly have to say that would be about the best sight of my day.  So keep smiling, because when you smile, the whole world smiles with you.  You could be the secret to ending all wars.  Yours is genuine and true, much unlike anything over here.  Shouldn't you be graduating soon?  When I get home, you'll probably be working some six figure job.  I hope to hell you are anyway.  Well, its coming up on 4am your time, so I'll be getting back to work.  Hopefully lunch, too.

                                                     Truly yours,

                                                        Matt

 

....Man oh'man, God bless you Matt...and Godspeed.

 

#294...now, onto bigger and more important things than stupid aol lists..

like the earth, for instance.

     "One stormy autumn night when my nephew Roger was about twenty months old, I wrapped him in a blanket and carried him down to the beach in the rainy darkness.  Out there, just at the edge of where-we-couldn't-see, big waves were thundering in, dimly seen white shapes that boomed and shouted and threw great handfuls of froth at us.  Together we laughed for pure joy - he a baby meeting for the first time the wild tumult of Oceanus, I with the salt of half a lifetime of sea love in me.  But I think we felt the same spine-tingling response to the vast, roaring ocean and the wild night around us. 
     A night or two later the stom had blown itself out and I took Roger again to the beach, this time to carry him to the water's edge, piercing the darkness with the yellow cone of our flashlight.  Although there was no rain, the night was again noisy with breaking waves and the insistent wind.  It was clearly a time and place where great and elemental things prevailed..."

                                                 ~Rachel Carson
                                              A Sense of Wonder

                                                                                      

~.."It was clearly a time and place where great and elemental things prevailed"...you said it sister...

Happy earth day - lets keep her that way.  Plant a tree.

#293...yawn...

Well, the editors picks have been chosen. And they are about as bona-fide as my hair color this week.  All save, the number 5 spot, which really should have been number one in that round-up. 

But hey, that is just my freaking opinion. 

Frankly I find it offensive that they spit all that boredom out at us.  What a novel marketing idea.  I'm sure the masses will be inspired.

What's the matter, couldn't find five journals without some thinly veiled vulgarities?

 

#292...Something is rotten in Denmark. Part deux.

 

.....tapping my fingers........The Queen is officially outraged. 

No time like the present to take action, when action is indeed, needed....    

So, after reading Wessolo's account about the recent decision to yank Mara's journal from the hot spot; and by the way, this would be the second time that a great journal has been yanked....(they did it to Adlessor and replaced it with, get this..an AOL EDITOR'S JOURNAL.)   

So anyway,  I feel compelled to take an official position on this, and it goes thusly:    

On second thought, Mr. Editor, you know what - y'all can kiss my royal arse - and NO - you may NOT feature my journal on your stupid list.

Hallelujah. Amen. Now, please pass the salt...  

#291...Something is rotten in Denmark. Part 1

In a message dated 4/4/2004 9:26:56 AM Eastern Standard Time, Journals Editor writes:

Hello!   AOL Keyword: Journals is considering your AOL Journal, Freely Floralilia, to be highlighted on our main screen in the future.  

We would also like to feature a picture of you that we can use in case your Journal is selected for the number one slot in our Editor's Weekly Picks.  

Please send an attached photo to me (.jpg or .bmp format only; pictures embedded in e-mail cannot be accepted) with your reply. To see how your picture would be used if selected, see the large photo on the main screen at AOL Keyword: Journals. 

  When you send your picture, please Reply to this e-mail, sending it back to screen name Journals Editor, and include the following:  

 ===== Include the following text with your reply =====  

 The information requested below will be used only in conjunction with your photo, if published.  

 Screen name:  Floralilia
AOL Member Since: The era of charging members by the AOL Minute...1994!

By submitting the photo(s) outlined above (the "Content"), you hereby grant America Online, Inc., its affiliates, subsidiaries, assigns, licensees, and legal representatives ("AOL") the irrevocable, perpetual, worldwide right to use, reproduce, edit, market, store, distribute, have distributed, publicly and privately display, communicate, publicly and privately perform, transmit, have transmitted, create derivative works based upon, and promote the Content (as such may be edited and modified by AOL in its discretion) through the America Online brand service and such other products or services as AOL may designate in any medium now known or hereafter devised, for editorial, commercial, promotional and all other purposes.   While you retain ownership of all right, title, and interest in the Content itself, you agree that AOL owns all right, title, and interest in any compilation, collective work or other derivative work created by AOL using or incorporating the Content. You represent and warrant that (i) the Content does not and shall not infringe on any copyright or any other third party right nor violate any applicable law or regulation, (ii) you have the right to grant any and all necessary rights and licenses provided herein, including without limitation, all necessary copyright and other related rightsto the Content, free and clear of all claims and encumbrances without violating the rights of any person or entity, including any right to privacy or publicity.   You hereby hold AOL harmless from and against any third party claim arising from use of the Content. You waive any right to privacy. You waive any right to inspect or approve uses of the Content or to be compensated for any such uses. You hereby represent and warrant that you are at least 18 years of age and that you have read this release and are fully familiar with its contents.  

===== End reply text =====      

That's it! Congratulations on being considered for this AOL feature.  
Journals Editor AOL Keyword: Journals    

Dear Journal Editors -  

 This self-proclaimed Queen of Pointless Posting is hereby officially pleased by your obvious good taste and eye for nonsensical sesquipedalian proclivity.   (In other words, I am completely flattered and appreciate you taking the time to notice my humble ramblings.)   

A Floralilian headshot is attached as requested... if chosen, I promise to uphold the somewhat dubious title of Editor's pick in a manner befitting the honor and reputation of said title with continued postings of pointlessness imagined or otherwise.  

 NowI must away - the moat needs cleaning.  

(really, thanks..)
Flettera Floralilia       

#290...on norah jones.

How does this happen? 

Am I the only one to not realize how lovely Norah Jones songs are? 

AOL Music: Norah Jones: 'Sunrise'

It's like the time when I went to buy  Santana's album "Supernatural" and the store clerk looked at me very seriously and said, "ahh...so you're the only one who hasn't bought this yet...." (and i'm thinking...just put it in the bag, mr.smartie pants...)

well, looks like I have a little shopping to do tomorrow now, doesn't it...

#289...sheeze.

Mr. Scalzihead's weekend assignment was a big hit.  I haven't posted because I still am trying to read up on all the posts.  It's a lot of fun seeing what wonders are sitting just on the other side the keyboard -  crazy and incredible randomness at its best, eh?

more later gang - i still gots me some reading to do...  

thanks to all who commented, by the way...felt a little creepy putting it out there like that...just a little..ah well...(of course, i don't have any problem reading others...)

#288...the John Scalzihead weekend challenge..

The scalzihead challenge: 

Your Weekend Assignment #1: Share 25 totally random facts about yourself. Include at least one you've never shared before with anyone.

1. The persona Flettera Floralilia was inspired by a Brian Froud drawing in Lady Cottington's Pressed Fairy book.

2.  According to the jung-meyer-briggs typology - I am an INFP - and it's probably more accurate, than not..

3.  When I was four - I fell down the basement steps and knocked myself out - I still remember the hardness and the smell of the cement floor.

4. When I was two months old, my sister, Pat dropped me on my head. I still have the scar.

5. I once ate alligator meat.  It tasted like sausage, not chicken.

6. I have experienced the aurora borealis, right here in Pennsylvania.

7. I have had an out of body experience or -  astral projection.  and no, I was not under the influence of anything other than a headache.

8.  I know true love.

9.  I am a damn good nurse. I can save dying babies.

10. I can start an IV, draw your blood, put in a Foley, give you an injection, change your dressings, give you blood, empty a colostomy bag, get an ekg, listen to your heart, remove your sutures, pierce your ears, irrigate your wounds, remove a tic, change your pad, hold your emesis basin, clean your bottom, triage your calls, suction your tracheostomy, and do cpr - I can heal the sick, and comfort the dying.

11.  I can prepare a dead body for the morgue.

12.  I collect unusal books.  My oldest book was printed in DCCXL 

13. I still know my roman numerals.  (1740)

14. I hated babysitting as a teen.  I still do.

15.  I can paint. and write. and sketch. and sew. and cook. and clean and grow plants.

16.  Once, when I was dissecting a pregnant cat for anatomy - I brought the kittens home to show my children. I kept them in the freezer.  They weren't has thrilled as I thought they would be.

17.  I love to be alone at times. I never get lonely.

18.  I grew up in a catholic household with four other sisters.  I can mow a lawn, change a tire, sail a boat, bait a hook, clean a fish, throw a ball, ride a bike, handle fast cars, and use a hammer.

19. I never balance my checkbook.

20. I need to freshen up my hair color.

21.  I still miss my mother.

22.  I graduated with a 4.0.

23.  I was twice almost raped as a teen - I never told my parents. or sisters.

24.  I once, almost drowned in the ocean.  Again, I never told my parents. 

25.  I agreed to marry my husband after dating three months. That was 24 yrs ago..what the hell was I thinking... 

26. I've had my kids naturally. Yes, it hurt, and no, I wouldn't change it. I've made three beautiful babies, and think I am doing a pretty good job of raising happy healthy children - strike that, young adults.

27.  While snow skiing once - I wiped out with a cartwheel and broke my left thumb in three places...it never healed quite right.  While water-skiing once, I wiped out and lost my bathing suit top.  Someone threw me a tee, and I got back up.

28. I can dislocate my left shoulder at will.

29. I've had a headache for the past three days now and really need to go to bed now.

#287..."really big shoo" news of another sort...

So today, it is official.

My firstborn Dana, is now technically a budding movie star. She has just wrapped up day one of shooting as a wedding guest in a new film partially shot in Philadelphia - entitled "In Her Shoes."  , starring Cameron Diaz, Toni Collette, and Shirley MacLaine!

It's release date is slotted for 2005.  And as suspected, Dana reports that Cameron is pretty much off-screen, as she is on-screen...goofy and animated....but shorter. She caught Dana smiling at her - she smiled back - twice.  Whew. big day, for my little girl....

For her big debut - she had to sit shivering, for 16 hrs in an outside garden wedding setting and then yell - "matzel tov!"  She does report that she thinks she has a pretty good chance of actually getting on screen, "after all Mom," - "makeup" did come over - to "fix" my pimple"...( I can see the director now - peering into his framed hands...then yelling - "make-up!" get pimple on extra number 2!" )

I'm thinking..."close up!"     am I right? huh..am I?  well, we'll see...

 "The Reception Scene" - will begin shooting tomorrow.  The shooting schedule -  5pm to 5am.  - man, talk about long reception...

So needless to say, we are officially thrilled for her.  I'm sure you are, too.

Remember folks, you saw it here - the budding of a new screen star.  Especial prayers now - that it doesn't end up on the cutting room floor......

#286...the official update.

Here ye, Here ye - by order of the queen of pointlessness -  a message of unpointlessness has been hereby issued. 

And it goes thusly:

Miss Lucy is alive and well and now home safe and somewhat sound (special consideration given for pain killers and post residual anesthesia.)

Mr. Kitty, is doting on her carefully, licking her forehead as a good transgendered companion should.  He sleeps curled next to her while on guard, possibly mourning his lost Teasing Tom days...

and that - concludes the official update.  Thank you.

 

                    *this has been a cat-people special service announcement.

#285...I wait.

Like a nervous mother, I wait.

I wait to see if our 6 month old, 6 pound - stray kitten-squirrel, the nuclear kitty with the extra toes, (and probably extra ovaries), the one, the only Miss Lucy-fer survives today's ordeal.  For yes, at this very moment - she is getting de-clawed and de-balled (but in an ovary kinda way).

Now, I know I will probably get a lot of hate mail on this one - but so be it.  It is my furniture and my sanity at stake, okay - not yours.  The way I look at it - she is damn lucky to even have a home.  And for the record, I'm not even a cat person so, (in my best Mr. Evil's voice)... "Cut me a friggin break here, Scotty!"

Miss Lucy, like her promiscuous and randy mother before her, (who is pregnant again for the third time this year), has come into heat months ahead of schedule and without fair warning.  Now, to add insult to injury - Miss Lucy's wiley ways have even managed to excite our neutered 16 lb. tomcat - I think in some smaller evil cat circles - he would be known as a "Teaser Tom"  - ya know, a cat that gets his non-rocks off just to help a sexually frustrated female cat ovulate...don't believe me?  Well, check here.  And believe me when I tell you - He's not just doing her a favor - he LIKES it.

So what we have then, is an incestuous and sordid love affair going on between old Kitty and  baby Lucy.  And now, because the light bulb finally went off in Mr. Eunuch 's  head - he won't leave her alone even when she does not want his lascivious attempts at romance!

So to recap class, what do we have here?- Yes, that's right, what we have here is one old fat neutered male cat, Mr. Kitty, constantly trying to poke the baby evil kitten-squirrel cat, Miss Lucy.  And remember - when she does, in fact, want some action - she does everything to get his or anybody elses attention, regardless of the species or what gene pool it comes from.  It's no longer cute, okay?  It's just plain creepy.  Ask the kids.

And I'm not even going to bother going into what those grappling hooks -she calls paws - does to one's furniture, sliding screen doors, or flesh on one's back  - Just trust me on this one.  She'll be under general anesthesia anyway so.....

So, off we went this morning in our little beige carry crate - to Mr. Vet's office.  Where she managed to fillet the flesh on my back - once again - just for ol time's sake - just for being weighed and registered....

but still, like a nervous mother, I wait. 

(along with all her new treats and toys...)

 

(for all you cat people out there - i've included some extra fun in the blue links.)

#284...incredible.

gasp!!  today, the sun

                 is actually

                                      <-----OUT!!

 

(at least, i think that is the sun - it's been so long you know...)

apparently, my little "ode to spring" did the trick. 

Yes, fine people of Pennsylvania (and most of the eastern seaboard for that matter) you can thank ME for this fine weather.

(heh heh heh..and gregg thinks he has illusions of grandeur......well,  i couple mine with grandiose behavior...)

i am so outta here journal people -

the sun calls, and i must answer........latah!

 

#283...Time for a Nancy Drew Wilderness tip...

"If you see a child bobbing directly in the path of a speedboat, grab the kid and dive down under the boat until you see it pass over you.  Hope that the child can hold her breath."

~ Password to Larkspur Lane

 

Yep Nancy, one might want to hope that...

                                          gee, what a gal - I tell you..

 

#282...A call to spring.

O thou, with dewy locks, who lookest down
Thro' the clear windows of the morning; turn
Thine angel eyes upon our western isle,
Which in full choir hails thy approach, O Spring!

The hills tell each other, and the list'ning
Valleys hear; all our longing eyes are turned
Up to thy bright pavillions: issue forth,
And let they holy feet visit our clime. 

Come o'er the eastern hill, and let our winds
Kiss thy perfumed garments; let us taste
Thy morn and evening breath; scatter thy pearls
Upon our love-sick land that mourns for thee.

O deck her forth with thy fair fingers; pour
Thy soft kisses on her bosom; and put
Thy golden crown upon her languish'd head,
Whose modest tresses were bound up for thee!

~William Blake           To Spring

#281... on weather & slacisms.

 

 

 

 

 

 

WED

high:  59°F
low:  43° F

the weather - again - in my neck of the woods.

     "Remember, if a man ever gets pregnant, you're apt to see it first on the Weather Channel; becos that's where all the pregnant meteorologists hang.  Pass this forward, because it's true."  ~slac    

 

#280...whew.

 

Ah, this time, 22 years ago, we celebrated a new life - a new gift, in small and wonderous ways.. an identical  Easter weekend - 

A Saturday of birthday wishes - A Sunday of Easter wishes with the onset of labor during Easter Mass -  that continued into this morning... 22 years ago.

We celebrated, our first-born, a daughter.

Miss Dana
8 pounds - 6 ounces
21 inches
9:45 am.
April 12, 1982

Happy Birthday, my little one -

my best, most cherished, Easter blessing.

#279...click there.

                     

                   happy easter gang!!

                                                                                            

#278..Going, Going, Gone.

You know,  karensul12 mentioned something in her audio post today about seeing kids in a playground and missing those times with them when her kids were small -

I had similar thoughts today too. While straightening up, I found myself paging through my eldest daughter's high school yearbook.  I looked at all of the pics of her and her friends, at her beautiful fresh face, the teachers and the activities and the silly notes they left to each other scribbled in all different ink colors, and the flowery handwriting...like Karen, I too, got a little sad.  I closed the book and put it down.

I can't believe how fast time has flowed and now she will be graduating college this spring...when...how - did all this happen?  I don't remember getting older, when did they? This can't be - Hell, I still remember my own high school days -  

Now, I know full well, that I should be happy and grateful that all my kids are growing up to be happy, well-adjusted kids - no- young adults.. but I guess I am just greedy. No... I know I am greedy.

I, too, still want to push the baby on the swingset, to hold their bike seat as they learn to balance; to sit, snuggled close, to read them stories.  I still want to see their surprised faces on Christmas morn, to watch them walk down the street carrying their heavy bookbags on their backs, to transform their sweet faces into little monsters on halloween. I still want to kiss their scraped knees, and to hear their belly laugh while blowing raspberries on their tummies.  I want to smell their hair on my shoulder as I carry them to bed...

I am reminded of this poem.

Going, going, gone.
~By Bobbi Murrow

The babies have gone on
from mother's milk,
to carrot sticks and potato chips
from doodles on the wall,
to ABC's on lined paper,
from tears cried in my lap,
to a cookie and a starship colored bandaid,
from sharing toys with a friend,
to stealing kisses in the schoolyard,
from sing-song,
to love song, in the time it takes to sigh. 

I've treasured every moment
and etched them in my heart.
Because I know it's right for you
I'll look forward to all the firsts to come,
but I will have each of these moments to remember
when you're growing, going, gone.

~  "because I know it's right for you, I'll look forward to all the firsts to come," but man, oh, man, thank you kids, for all of those moments I have to remember...

#277...an official desktop tour update..

this is an update - to update the update....

The Official Desktop Tour is still going strong and new links have been added on a fairly regular basis - if you haven't  jumped on board yet - and would still like to - just give me a hollar...The Desktop train will slow down - just for you!

email me with with your links..

P.S. we still want a picture of Mara's lap, isn't that right folks?!

#276...the skycar - a little pricey, but...

So, by now you all must be sufficiently creeped out by all the large neanderthal bug talk..or as the sage, slacster once said... "wow, I noticed your beta was really acting "buggy" lately."  Yes, well...I just thought it important for you all to be immersed in cicado doo-doo, as we will be shortly....(well, if spring EVER arrives...)

So now to move onto other large neanderthal-like looking things in the world: 

  okay, so i'm thinking of purchasing one of these...but not sure of the color just yet...

(heh, heh, heh, just let the jones' try to one up me after this one...)

for the full story on the "skycar"....look here...

hey. what? ...they laughed at the wright brother's contraption too, remember....

 

#275 VIII. Miscellaneous Cicada Categories

"The only insect I know of that can actually drown out, or drone out, a teenager's stereo.  Sounds better than rap too. " - nicotiana99

 

 Rumors and Cicadas.

A.  RUMOR HAS IT THAT BECAUSE THESE CRITTERS HAVE BEEN IN THE GROUND SUCKING UP NUTRIENTS THAT THEY MAY HAVE VERY MILD HALUCINOGENIC PROPERTIES!?!?  -jasubar

B.  I have heard no reports of anyone getting stoned off  of Cicadas....Just remember the Colorado River Toad. If you lick one of them you go to jail. -ardentlake

C. I didn't realize there were any toad-lickers left out there! -otisrefrig

Suggestions and Cicadas

a.  Isn't Jon Secada's career sagging?  Perhaps he should come up with a medley of "insectious" tunes...perhaps entitled "Secada Sings Cedada."  krismisferry

b.  There is one thing to do before you fry them...get drunk as hell or you wont be able nto eat the second one. - glennleroy

C.  >My Granddaddy told me this story a long time ago. I believe him. When he was 6 he was outside playing. He let a fart and all of a sudden a bunch of cicadas started flying after him. He ran as fast as he could but could not out run them. He fell. The cicadas all landed on his butt. He swears they like the smell of farts. His mom had to pick the cicadas off his pants. Don't fart outside when the cicadas come.  creamygoodness47

d.  Make sure you stock up on window washer fluid though....dcbriman    

Management and Cicadas  
(i'd rather be chased by a man-eating sasquatch than a cicada  -coven828)

a.  Can we stop them? Hell-no!
Anyone have a flame thrower they don't want? -condonmartinis  

b.  bush will attack them with shock and awe.  -blueheronwv 

c.  Don't think you can rid your yard of cicadas by ripping off their wings and forcing them up your swimming poold filter. I tried it when I was 10. We still had way too many cicadas and Mom had to buy a new filter!! -burlboxer1

d.  One interesting fact, though.  If you hold them by their wings and pull their front legs, their beady little heads pop off!  Pull away, kids!!!  lol  -angcllr

e.  I've only seen one cicada killer wasp in my life, and it was bigger than my big toe.  I know this because it landed on my big toe before it hopped on top of a cicada and flew off with it.  Dang, that was a big mofo of a wasp!    -poetamelie

Greek Myths and Cicadas  

A.   I always wait each summer for the lamplight of the first firefly and, about a month later, for the first scratchy song of the Cicada. I love the rising cadence and measured fall of their song, and then the abrupt and sudden silence. And I love the way choirs of cicadas sing their songs in rounds. There's a lovely Greek myth about how the Cicada came to be in a story concerning the goddess Aurora falling in love with a human, Tithonus.She asked the gods to make him immortal but forgot to ask that he also be eternally young. When he grew old and wizened, she locked him away in a room, where he cried out piteously in his ancient voice until, one day each year, she released him to be young again and be her love. I alwaysthink of that story when I hear the Cicada's cry.  -dlion0305        

#274...VII. Dangers and cicadas

  Question:  I was just wondering if those ugly insects can hurt humans or children? 

Kindly response #1:  You must have been born yesterday if you do not remember Cicadas.  No, they don't hurt anyone.  They are simply a nuisance with that darn noise they make.  They're just a nuisance.  I knew the plague would come soon because God is not pleased with all this bickering over the topic of his name.  SHSnLMD2702

Kindly response #2:  Most people aren't afraid of them, but those are the one's that havent been bitten yet. The warnings out there like this AOL represented one don't really tell you the whole truth. What they don't want you to know is the freakiest part about these little insects. As a cicada lands on you it has a small tube in the anus that usually dumps what needs to be dumped. BUT, when it is time to lay the eggs that same tube can dump an average of about 8 tiny tiny eggs. This is the part that is really going to burst your bubble. When a cicada does lay its eggs, it doesn't just LAY them, it injects them. You are probably saying thats impossible. Well ask all the people that have been bitten by one. When the cicada lands on you the anus tube actually latches on to you like a leech, usually on the back of your neck so you dont notice the little critter. It then injects the eggs and there they sit to hatch in your skin. Sounds like a crock of shit right? Well you know those times that you notice that you get a new fresh mole on the back of your neck and just let it be? Well have the time that is usually a cicada egg sac turning ripe under your skin. Thats right. I didn't stutter. The insecta Cicadas has the ability to disguise its eggs as a dark as a mole on a human's skin. It also does this on other small animals as well (Dogs, cats, etc.) Well I'm going to give you the tip that may sound ridiculous, but exceed with caution. When I got the cicada mole on my neck my friend dug it out with a small pocket knife. I was freaking out so much because I didn't believe him, but then he showed me the developing baby cicadas and then I just had a feeling of disgust. Good luck and be aware this Cicada Season.  screamminsilence

#273...VI. Weddings and Cicadas

     A. I was in my cousin's wedding in the Cincinnati, Ohio area in June of 1970, and we bridesmaids went out to the beauty shop to get our hair done, you know the big boufant doos that were sprayed with a can of hairspray to lacquer them in place.  I remember when we got back to her home to dress, the cicadas were just hanging in the air like a big, dark, buggy, buzzing curtain.  It was straight out of a horror flick. We had to run through it though screaming (with our hands over our nose and mouths so we wouldn't have one crawl in there.) Once inside her home, we jumped around screaming with our flesh just goosebumped out, while my aunt, uncle and each other tried to debug our hair since these nasty things just got stuck in it. And they are big: a kind of a cross between a huge fly but with the hardness of a junebug, and the size of a big, fat grasshopper as I remember.  And the noise they make!!! Thousands of them buzzing in the air is horrible and is something you never forget! However its worse to have one stuck in your hair buzzing next to your ear. I think they can make the noise by rubbing their big wings together.

  BUT as creepy as this experience was; the biggest creep of the wedding turned out to be the groom, who was actually just marrying my cuz to have her work to put him through med school, as she sadly learned from loveletters to his girlfriend that she found.  Yes, she divorced the creep. He was worse than a cicada, hmmmmmmmmmm human size maggot perhaps?  -cybotot

                    

   

#272.....V. Recipes and Cicadas

 

      a. Sauteed Cicada
USE ONLY FRESHLY HATCHED NYMPHS SO YOU HAVE TO WORK QUICKLY.

ADD FRESH SALTED BUTTER TO A SKILLET AND SLIGHTLY COOK BUTTER UNTIL IT TURNS LIGHT BROWN.  ADD NYMPHS,  SALT AND PEPPER TO TASTE AND TOSS OVER MEDIUM HEAT  UNTIL GOLDEN BROWN.  GARNISH WITH CHOPPED PARSLEY. BE CAREFUL  BECAUSE NYMPHS MAY POP  FROM HEAT OF SAUTE. SERVE OVER BROWN RICE.  SERVE WITH BUTTERY CHARDONNAY.  -jasubar

?Does anyone have a recipe for bbq cicada. I tried it 17 years ago and they kept falling thru the grill.  -epom

b. Grilled Cicada
you put your cicada  in aluminum foil on a nice hot grill until they are nice and tender remove wingsthan you make up a creamy lemondill sauce to put on top of the grilled critters - dcuddles22coonca

c.  Chocolate-covered Cicada
>Collect fresh Cicadas.
>Dip in melted white or dark chocolate.
>While chocolate is still warm, place one carefully on a pretzel rod.
>Repeat.
>Cool on wax paper-covered sheet pan.
>Enjoy!

 ?  Ummmmm.....shouldn't we kill the Cicadas first?  -briony123

**Do not kill before dipping in chocolate. When dipped in hot melted chocolate the cicada facial expressions are wonderful conversation topics as they are all varied and different. Kids love them.  -epom

**There are some good points to eating cicadas. You can use the legs to pick the wings from between your teeth. -epom

!! Everyone is being insensitive did it ever occur to anyone that cicada moms are reading about these horrible atrocities that you plan for their kids. -epom

d. Stuffed Cicada:
Boil egg. Finely chop. Set aside. Turn cicada onto back, careful not to crush wings or separate legs from body. Make a vertical incision down center of cicada's "tummy." Pull chitin open to expose tummy. Scoop out tummy with all innards. In separate bowl, mix cicada innards, freshly ground pepper, sea salt, finely chopped egg, dijon mustard, and Louisiana Hot Sauce. Puree. Stuff mixture into cicada shells. (4 to 6 cicadas per serving). Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes. Delicious with Bloody Marys.- bugsy  -cnanceesq  

**recipe also works well with molting tarantulas.  -lapis57  

?How many points is that on Weight Watchers?  puffybella  

?Got a carb total on that?  Guessing its high in protein.  -cantgoslow  

e.  Skewered Cicada
Catch a bunch of 'em, but keep 'em fresh.  Dont kill them yet.
take a skewer and stick it through the middle of a whole bunch of them at once and soak it in a marinade of your choice.  They will beat their wings to distribute the marinade evenly until they finally die.  Then, put them on the barbecue till they cook crispy............yum, yum!  :)  nabber2

f.  Southern-Fried Cicada
Catch Cicadas at night before they dry and get hard, dip in egg mixture, coat with flour, deep fry, seasonwith salt and pepper, drizzle honey over them, enjoy. best of all these are high in protein, low in fat and are Kosher.  -dsl scottie

g.  No-Fuss Cicada
Just add a little garlic and butter and saute in a pan and it taste just like chicken.  -reallyweird1

#271...IV. Fond Memories and Cicadas

          a.  It was 1970 and I was only 9 years old when "it" happened.  The summer of the cicada.  empty shells and buzzing bug-eyed critters everywhere.  Walking with friends to the neighborhood pharmacy in Towson, Maryland, the chirping and buzzing had been going on for weeks.  "I heard you could eat them," no one in particular exclaimed.  I had my doubts, but that set the stage for the greatest challenge of our young lives.  "Do you cook them first?"  Well, of course you do.  It's like any other animal.  Raw would be too much to handle, and it might lead to some undiscovered disease or sickness, like eating raw chicken or eggs.  So we set off with our pickle jars and combed the woods near the high school.  The trees were buzzing.  You could pick them off the bark, and somtimes stick one on your unsuspecting buddies neck.  Talk about jumping!  Once we had rounded up our catch, with about 10 or so to a jar, the next decision was where to do the deed.  My dad was at work and mom wasn't at home.  In a family as large as mine, only my older brother of 11 was around.  He joined in the fun.  We grabbed a pan and covered the bottom with butter, then fired up the gas burner.  The butter began to sizzle and it was time.  Off came the jar lid.  A few escaped and flew around the kitchen, fluying toward the kitchen window or curtains.  "We must have to stun them," it was suggested.  So grabbing one in the palm of the hand and a violent thrash toward the floor, "Thwump".  Perfectly stunned, and whisking it off the floor and into the pan.  The wings crackle, everything crackles.  This is one noisy crackling food! This is so gross, but this was the most awesome thing we had ever done.  We cooked about a dozen, and decided that was enough.  Pouring them into a bowl, we still couldn't believe what we were about to do.  I mean, I once had to sit at the table for 2 hours before I finished my peas.  But then it happened.  Without further hesitation I grabbed it and popped the entire critter into my mouth.  As I bit down it still made a crunch I was sure everyone in the room had heard.  Jaws dropped and eyes bulged.  "Well, what's it like?"  I finished chewing and finally swallowed.  I looked over the stunned faces and could only mutter one thing. "Needs salt."  -mcgrawinmb            

          b.  My Granddaddy told me this story a long time ago. I believe him. When he was 6 he was outside playing. He let a fart and all of a sudden a bunch of cicadas started flying after him. He ran as fast as he could but could not out run them. He fell. The cicadas all landed on his butt. He swears they like the smell of farts. His mom had to pick the cicadas off his pants. Don't fart outside when the cicadas come.  -creamygoodness47            

          c. My dad told me, when he was young, he called them "zeeries" because he didn't know the name and that was the sound they amde -- zeery, zeery, zeery...keblokr            

       d. The funniest thing I ever saw was a macho dude at a stoplight with his windows open.  One flew into his car.  He started waving and gyrating, threw open his door and jumped out.  The light changed.  After I was able to stop laughing, I drove around him & went on my way.  I'll bet he's STILL waiting for that cicada to get out of his car.  -achibis470

         e.  ...Sorry folks the cat hit the enter key...anyways I am told I have to leave the store immediately...I asked why and she said "Please no fuss just leave now...." I got angry and told her I wasn't leaving until she told me why...then she leaned over and said "Because you have a cicada on your back..."  I said "OMG Please come with me and get it off" she said "NO QAY!" and led me out...as soon as I cleared the store and got in the vesibule I yanked that tee shirt off so damn fast and people were looking and laughing......I was shaking it and screaming....love those cicadas (not)!!!      xoxolovebuggoxox

(>I yanked that tee shirt off so damn fast and people were looking and laughing......I was shaking it and screaming....love those cicadas  Man, I would have loved to be there, Do you Cyber Cicadas  -jojogima)

             f.  I remember the 17 year Cicadas as a child.  We use to catch them and put them in jars and study them.  My sisters and I were very much into nature and catching things that were interesting.  We loved the sound they made and would mock them as best we could.  Remember the warm spring nights listening to their bug music.  My dogs and cats found them most tasty though I never had the guts to eat them and still don't care too.  Though we I remember when they were crushed they looked like my moms Cole Slaw inside....I haven't been too fond of Cole Slaw since :-)  -bellepayton

             g.  I was just a little boy in Tennessee when we would hear them in the trees all day long and some times at night. I would go out early in the morning and try and catch them before they would shed their skin, being that the shell was all we would be left on trees after they driedoff and flew away. But it wasn't until my uncle woke me up early in the morning about 4 am with a flash light to show me what really went on. and how they shed there skin. He told me that they come out of the ground every 10 years. I remember some old people would say that they were lost souls that wouldn't go to hell that's why they scream all day. I learned to like the Cicadas and how they strive to survive.
cool bug........  brklynbone1

             h.  I was 16, driving one day through downtown DC by the monument and one flew in the window. It hit my chest and fell between my legs. I wasn't sure what it was, I thought it was a leaf or something, duh... so I reached down and when I felt it I almost wrecked...I was doing about 30 and slammed on the brakes while simultaneously throwing it into park and bailing out flailing around and slapping at my crotch. Talk about feeling stupid and foolish....especialy with all the traffic and people around.....lol.....Aahhh Those were the days!  -jvjganey

             i.  I can't recall the year but I remember I was still driving my '67 Plymouth Fury III  one of the  ugliest automobiles ever made and basic like a taxi cab with a bench front seat, AM radio and standard tires.  When the little buggers got thick enough to cover a street I slipped and slid and fishtailed as if the asphalt had turned into clay.  My tires would spin unable to muster any traction and on several occasions the horrific embarassment of  spraying pedestrians with cicada viscera  as my car would wiggle and shimmy its way forward through a light.  Washing the undercarriage and wheel wells still one of the gross out memories of my youth second only to treating cattle for screw worm.  flixspix

             j.  omigosh it was in my hair:  ok one time i was at my grandmoms and this bug flew in my haair and i started crying and i was all scared and stuff i mean u would be 2 right so then like it fell out and the i hit with a rock BUT IT DIDNT DIE ! so then i like threw salt on it but my grandmom said that only works for slugs ?????  who new?  anyways so the i just like left it there and then i went to the mall!  happybunnygc16

             k.  As a kid in Virginia in the early 40's the Cicadas were affectionately reffered to as "Katy-dids. We loved to hunt for the empty shells. -royvm

             l.  I love their song, it sounds like summer. -freethrowquru

       m.  the first time i saw one i was about 10 yrs old. nobody knew what it was. we thought it was from outer space. it was already dead. so we got a good close look. it glowed with all the colors of the rainbow when the light hit it. we knew it couldn't be from earth, there wasn't anything that cool here. it was SOOOO BIG!!! when dad said that that bug was what made the noise inthe trees, we knew then they were from outerspace, cause nothing that small could make that much noise. we only saw 3 more but we weren't as afraid of them as we were the huge black japanese beetles that swarmed near the old ladies pine tree.  -valleriesdell

         n.  My grandma used to call them sewing bugs, because they sounded like sewing machines buzzing away! -cashat4k
 
            o.  My father and I used to take their empty shells off trees and wear them as pins on our shirts, and freak out my mother.....those were the days....bartosh811

            p.  as a child, 17 years ago, my mom and i would venture outside to cut their heads as they exited from the ground. try it. there's nothing like garden scissors during this plague....beth1abell

  

#270....III. Religious Philosophy and Cicadas

          A....we should be thankful that nature is still willing to even bless us with her children.  Especially the singing ones.  -scarlettomen

          B.  I read in some religious article or book, I can't remember exactly, that anything that crawls like an insect is not supposed to be eaten and it will be harmful to our bodies. I will leave those alone. -realtymor

          C.  I remember some old people would say that they were lost souls that wouldn't go to hell that's why they scream all day  -brklynbone1

          D.  Lo!  I shall shew unto you a sight that has not been seen these many years.  For thou hath been judged and thou hast been found wanting.  Therefore, forthwith the Locusts unto your town.  And they shall devour all living thing that growest from the ground. 

And they shalt spill into thine cups of coffee.  Thy tea shalt taste the bitter taste of Locust pee.  And the sky shall darken and the cicada's shalt buzz with a loud and obnoxious sound.  And P.Diddy shall not be heard.  Nay, even Britney Spears shall fall silent and quiver.  People will say that she quivers uneccessarily anyways.  So doth man debateth that which they know not.  Behold!  I come unto you.  Will you not listen to my bugs? 

Truly, I say unto you.  Thine appointed leader shall not be able to do anything.  Which shalt be normal for that leader.  For the Democrats doth bedevil him unceasing that he hath no time for these hell spawned creatures. 

When you steppeth out for a night on the town, thou shalt step on my winged instruments.  And thy girlfriends shall shudder at the squishiness.  Eat notthe cicadas of hell, for they will poison the bowels of dogs with their skin, and thy dogs shall surely throweth up.

Repent!  Repent I say unto you, for the time of the locusts are at hand!  -gordonmark

          E.  I knew the plague would come soon because God is not pleased with all this bickering over the topic of his name - shsnlmd2702

#269.....II. Fun things to do with cicadas.

 

      II. Fun things to do with cicadas:

          a.  Fill your roommates bed with the bastards!  -chesire coyote

          b.  Eating the wings is a terrible waste of wings. They have other uses. You can make a dress or shirt from cicada wings. You cant sew them but you can use elmers glue they also make lovely bridalveils and are much cheaper. You could probably make an entire wedding gown from cicada wings and save tones of money.   -epom

          c.  Get some big Cicadas. Spray liberally with Shellac. String together for a nice necklace or loop them for earrings. Lovely.
Try selling them at your next yard sale!  -tymbo5

          d.  WHEN I WAS SMALL ,WE USED TO CATCH THEM AND TIE A STRING TO THEIR BODIES AND LET THEM FLY AROUND  -joselite380

          e.  Also used to put them in the old metal Band-Aid boxes and pretend we were shaving with an electric razor!  LOL  -ptflamingo

          f.  I was four years old during that swarm.  When they die, they freeze onto the tree and sort of dry out right there.  My brother and I used to wear there as rings!!! God, what were we thinking. Kids and no fear.  We thought the swarm was cool.  -keylargo23

          g.  Scraping them off the trees on my way back home from school, one rainy day, and putting them in my vinyl red and white ginghamraincoat pockets!  -debs triumph

        h.  I can remember when I was a kid in Pennsylvania and my father would go out and shoot them with a BB gun.  That's how big they get.  -jaksvitak

      i.  I'm from Savannah Georgia, and every summer there were lots of  cicadas, all over the place. I got pretty good with a badmitton racket. -mazamarcreations

      j. No one seems to have mentioned that cicadas are incredible fishing bait. When I was a kid in Missouri, my brother and I caught hundreds of fish during the big cicada season. Cicadas are especially good bait for kids to use because they are big, slow, and easy to hook, and fish go crazy for them.  carrideen   

        k.  try tying the string to the top of a globe. They will panic thinking theyve flown too high.  jfitzh1714

         l.  Scoop one up in a cup & put it in your bath tub & let the cat have a blast.  Mine was a little fearful at first, but once she got used to it she snagged it up in her mouth by the wing & chased around the house with it buzzing against her nose.  It was even funnier than when I stick a piece of tape on her back.  -gimmoe

         m.  I use to collect their shells when I was a little girls.  I would collect hundreds on the table and show my mom.  I rememeber her mouth dropping. - wsorbital