#129...The Dark Sucker Theory continued..

....There are also portable Dark Suckers.  In these, the bulbs can't handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit.  When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again.

  Dark has mass.  When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from the mass generates heat.  Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating Dark Sucker.  Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass.  This generates a great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating candle.  Also, dark is heavier than light.  If you were to swim just below the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light.  If you were to slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker.  When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness.  This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats at the top.  The is why it is called light.

Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light.  If you were to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet.   But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.   Next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is a Dark Sucker.  

thank you, cuzauntie..for passing on the enlightenment. ;)      

  

 

#128...another Cuzauntie Snookie contribution...

 

The Dark Sucker Theory

For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but recent information has proved otherwise.  Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark.  Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers.  The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier than light.
                                                            
First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory  is that electric bulbs suck dark.  For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in.  There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere.  The larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark.  Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room.                
                                                     
So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever.  Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck.  This is proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Sucker.  A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker.  A new candle has a white wick.  You can see that  after the first use, the wick turns black,  representing all the dark that has been sucked into it.  If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black.  This is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle.  One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range.

  (continued)

#127...the one true religion...the official invitation.

theonetruereligion , of which, i am a sheeplike follower.

and damn proud of it, thank you.

I hear the Fortress will be festooned with festivities this year...alack and alas, i cannot attend..my rsvp was as follows:

"Regrettably, i regret to inform you too, that i too, will be unable to personally imbibe in the welcoming festivities planned for the new year at the Impossible Fortress of Doom, at least for this new year, due to circumstances beyond my control, for one, being, that the Fortress of Doom, is built in a state much further away than mine, and to walk or drive there would be...well, just plain nuts. 

but I did appreciate the invitation. 

Also let it be known to all, that i will be one with you in heart and soul, and will proclaim my allegiance to the cause of the One True Religion, at the first strike of the first second of the hearalding of the new year, the new year being anno domini MMIV, otherwise known to some rappers (huh?) of y2k+4... 

But know to all, that you are all an impregnable force and my guiding light, and i kneel to the holy powers that be, as well as those which sustain the Fortress and all of her sheeplike followers.  I will also pledge to sacrifice my pseudovirginity in the name of the cause ....wait...er...well..uh...perhaps i hath just said too much... 

so in closing....happy new year to all.  i wish i could be with you. 

ps: the sheepdip, should it arrive in time, needs to be refrigerated. 

~ floralilia

sheeplike follower and keeper of the holiday sheepdip recipe."

 

#126..Nancy Drew's delicate art of etiquette..

"It's good to toast space exploration and fancy gadgets, but it's more important to raise a glass to the beauty of soft candlelight."

~The Sign of the Twisted Candles

sigh...cheers to you too, Ned and Nancy....and a happy new year...

#125...happy new year!

2004.

wow, another year to see what unexpected delights will come your way.

how perfect is that?

cheers!

#124...do you...

like what i did with the place?

in honor of winter, i repainted the journal in cool wintry tones..

brrrr...

makes ya want a mug of hot chocolate, huh.

#123..on "optimizing" my aol experience - aol 9.0

So I just upgraded to aol 9.0.  Okay, okay..i know i'm a little behind..but trust me, when you've been on aol for as long as i have, you get a bit leery when new versions come out.   For the record, I am still partial to version 2.8, before all the fluff n' stuff days...(and that was an upgrade!)  Sigh, I guess I could be considered an official charter member or an aol masochist, with the latter being the most accurate of the two.

For those of you who may not be aware -  in the "olden" days, we would have to pay for aolabuse by the minute...read again, the MINUTE.  Some of the bills could get outrageous, especially if you didn't realize aol, connected you via a long distance phone numbers.  (No, I am NOT kidding.)  There were quite a few of us "newbee's" getting connected via Australia and the like, without even realizing it.  Get burned once, and all of a sudden you became really good about learning all of the angles. 

Back then, Aol used to actually shut down in the wee hours of the morning to back up their files..or go out for coffee or something.  Some of us, and I'm not naming names here, used to skirt the minute charges and go into the tech support area, and wait around to "talk" to techs about problems or questions we were having...but really we were there to freely chat to other online friends in the free-zone. That was the area that aol, didn't log your minutes - essentially, you could then chat for free until you got noticed and then booted out.

anyway, back to my initial point for posting..so far, 9.0 is acting pretty good..."so far", of course, being the key words here.  I hope it lasts.